Meeting someone in person for the first time after getting to know them online can be both thrilling and nerve-wracking. You may have spent hours chatting with them, sharing stories and getting to know each other, maybe even to a deeper level than many other people you’ve known for longer, but meeting in person can feel like a whole new experience.
While there’s no denying that meeting someone in person can be a bit intimidating, it’s important to remember that the first date is simply an opportunity to get to know someone better in a different way, and see if the chemistry transposes;after all, that’s when you can actually get a real life feel of the person.
With the right approach, your first date can be a fun and memorable experience that lays the foundation for a potential relationship.
In this article, we’ll explore some of the dos and don’ts for your first date with someone you met online, as well as the importance of cautiousness, in this kind of case even more than in any other and also about consent in any relationship.
So, whether you’re a seasoned online dater or a newbie to the scene, read on for some tips and advice that can help you make the most of your first date. It’s important to remember that every first date is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach that works for everyone. Some people may feel more comfortable with a low-key coffee date, while others may prefer a more adventurous outing like hiking or visiting a museum. It’s important to be open to different possibilities and to be flexible and adaptable. You may find that the person you’re meeting has specific preferences or needs that you need to take into account, so don’t be afraid to ask for their input or suggestions.
Ultimately, the key is to be respectful, communicative, and open-minded, and to let the experience unfold naturally. Meeting someone you’ve only spoken to online can be exciting, but it’s important to remember that you don’t really know this person yet. Here are some tips to help you make the most of your first date:
Do’s:
Choose a public place: It is best to meet in a well-lit public place, such as a restaurant or café. This will help you both feel more comfortable and safe.
Dress appropriately: Dress nicely, but also comfortably. Wear something that makes you feel confident and attractive, but maybe don’t overdo it.
Be yourself: Be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, this may only lead to frustration, and it’s not a solid first stone to set.
Listen actively: Pay attention to what your date is saying and show interest in their life and interests. Ask questions and engage in conversation, bring your respectful input and remember that this is a tennis match.
Keep it light: Don’t reveal too much personal information or discuss heavy topics like politics or religion. Keep the conversation light and enjoyable. Of course, this doesn’t mean hide yourself away, just avoid turning it into a rally or a therapy session. On both ends, if you see this happen try to steer it back gently (after all, if someone talks about deep stuff, maybe they feel comfortable with you)
Location: keep your GPS on, send your location to a friend, make sure someone has a picture of this person. Yes, this isn’t peppy and fun, but better safe than sorry.
Don’ts:
Don’t be late: Show up on time, or even a few minutes early. This shows respect for your date and their time. Absolutely, if you are late, warn your date, don’t leave them hanging.
Don’t overdo it: Don’t go overboard with compliments or physical affection. This can come across as insincere or pushy. Not everybody is comfortable with the same things, and physical contact is very personal, especially today.
Don’t get too personal: Avoid asking too many personal questions, especially ones that are too intimate or inappropriate. Yes, you may feel already very close to them, but it is better to avoid looking invasive rather than confidential.
Don’t drink too much: Limit your alcohol consumption, as it can impair your judgment and make you say or do things you may regret later.
Don’t rush things: Take your time getting to know your date. Don’t rush into anything, and don’t feel pressured to make a commitment right away, you may not see something that’s there, whether good or bad.
Don’t give up too much information: keep some sensitive things to yourself. Trusting others is wonderful until it isn’t.
Remember:
The first date is very simply a chance to discover a little and get more acquainted with a person you’re interested in and has shown interest in you.
It’s a try-out, and if you charge it with expectation it’s very easy to ruin the experience. If things go well, there will be plenty of opportunities to get to know each other more deeply in the future, unfolding your personalitiy to the fullest in front of each other, and to share every little thing, and to feel and be safe.
Another thing to remember, consent is crucial in any relationship, no matter the stage or name, and especially on a first date with someone you met online.
Always make sure that your date is comfortable with the pace of the date and that they are giving clear and enthusiastic consent to any physical contact or intimate conversation. And no, that is not boring or mood-breaking; if done right, it can actually be quite the opposite!
Never assume that your date is okay with something without checking in with them first.
It sounds like a task, but it’s just basic respect, and to be clear: this goes for all genders and orientations. If your date expresses discomfort with something you are saying or doing, respect their wishes and boundaries. If you still don’t know each other very well, your actions could be misunderstood and misinterpreted, and not everybody can easily confront you about behaviours and statements they disagree with. Don’t forget that a healthy and respectful relationship is built on mutual trust and consent. In conclusion, a real life date with someone you met online can totally be an incredible moment you will both remember fondly looking back one day, and that is our only wish for you.
However, it’s important to remember that safety, respect, and communication are key to making the date enjoyable for both parties. Be yourself, listen actively, and keep the conversation light, while also making sure to prioritize the importance of the other’s feelings throughout the date. With these tips in mind, you can make the most of your first date and lay the foundation for a potentially rewarding and fulfilling relationship. Good luck!