Meeting someone in person for the first time after getting to know them online can be both thrilling and nerve-wracking. You may have spent hours chatting with them, sharing stories and getting to know each other, maybe even to a deeper level than many other people you’ve known for longer, but meeting in person can feel like a whole new experience.

While there’s no denying that meeting someone in person can be a bit intimidating, it’s important to remember that the first date is simply an opportunity to get to know someone better in a different way, and see if the chemistry transposes;after all, that’s when you can actually get a real life feel of the person.
With the right approach, your first date can be a fun and memorable experience that lays the foundation for a potential relationship.

In this article, we’ll explore some of the dos and don’ts for your first date with someone you met online, as well as the importance of cautiousness, in this kind of case even more than in any other and also about consent in any relationship.

So, whether you’re a seasoned online dater or a newbie to the scene, read on for some tips and advice that can help you make the most of your first date. It’s important to remember that every first date is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach that works for everyone. Some people may feel more comfortable with a low-key coffee date, while others may prefer a more adventurous outing like hiking or visiting a museum. It’s important to be open to different possibilities and to be flexible and adaptable. You may find that the person you’re meeting has specific preferences or needs that you need to take into account, so don’t be afraid to ask for their input or suggestions.
Ultimately, the key is to be respectful, communicative, and open-minded, and to let the experience unfold naturally. Meeting someone you’ve only spoken to online can be exciting, but it’s important to remember that you don’t really know this person yet. Here are some tips to help you make the most of your first date:

Do’s:

Choose a public place: It is best to meet in a well-lit public place, such as a restaurant or café. This will help you both feel more comfortable and safe.

Dress appropriately: Dress nicely, but also comfortably. Wear something that makes you feel confident and attractive, but maybe don’t overdo it.

Be yourself: Be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, this may only lead to frustration, and it’s not a solid first stone to set.

Listen actively: Pay attention to what your date is saying and show interest in their life and interests. Ask questions and engage in conversation, bring your respectful input and remember that this is a tennis match.

Keep it light: Don’t reveal too much personal information or discuss heavy topics like politics or religion. Keep the conversation light and enjoyable. Of course, this doesn’t mean hide yourself away, just avoid turning it into a rally or a therapy session. On both ends, if you see this happen try to steer it back gently (after all, if someone talks about deep stuff, maybe they feel comfortable with you)

Location: keep your GPS on, send your location to a friend, make sure someone has a picture of this person. Yes, this isn’t peppy and fun, but better safe than sorry.

Don’ts:

Don’t be late: Show up on time, or even a few minutes early. This shows respect for your date and their time. Absolutely, if you are late, warn your date, don’t leave them hanging.

Don’t overdo it: Don’t go overboard with compliments or physical affection. This can come across as insincere or pushy. Not everybody is comfortable with the same things, and physical contact is very personal, especially today.

Don’t get too personal: Avoid asking too many personal questions, especially ones that are too intimate or inappropriate. Yes, you may feel already very close to them, but it is better to avoid looking invasive rather than confidential.

Don’t drink too much: Limit your alcohol consumption, as it can impair your judgment and make you say or do things you may regret later.

Don’t rush things: Take your time getting to know your date. Don’t rush into anything, and don’t feel pressured to make a commitment right away, you may not see something that’s there, whether good or bad. 

Don’t give up too much information: keep some sensitive things to yourself. Trusting others is wonderful until it isn’t.

Remember:

The first date is very simply a chance to discover a little and get more acquainted with a person you’re interested in and has shown interest in you.

It’s a try-out, and if you charge it with expectation it’s very easy to ruin the experience. If things go well, there will be plenty of opportunities to get to know each other more deeply in the future, unfolding your personalitiy to the fullest in front of each other, and to share every little thing, and to feel and be safe.

Another thing to remember, consent is crucial in any relationship, no matter the stage or name, and especially on a first date with someone you met online. 

Always make sure that your date is comfortable with the pace of the date and that they are giving clear and enthusiastic consent to any physical contact or intimate conversation. And no, that is not boring or mood-breaking; if done right, it can actually be quite the opposite!

Never assume that your date is okay with something without checking in with them first.

It sounds like a task, but it’s just basic respect, and to be clear: this goes for all genders and orientations. If your date expresses discomfort with something you are saying or doing, respect their wishes and boundaries. If you still don’t know each other very well, your actions could be misunderstood and misinterpreted, and not everybody can easily confront you about behaviours and statements they disagree with. Don’t forget that a healthy and respectful relationship is built on mutual trust and consent. In conclusion, a real life date with someone you met online can totally be an incredible moment you will both remember fondly looking back one day, and that is our only wish for you.
However, it’s important to remember that safety, respect, and communication are key to making the date enjoyable for both parties. Be yourself, listen actively, and keep the conversation light, while also making sure to prioritize the importance of the other’s feelings throughout the date. With these tips in mind, you can make the most of your first date and lay the foundation for a potentially rewarding and fulfilling relationship. Good luck!

The post Tinder – Our review appeared first on Five Minutes to Love.

Should we race each other to the cashier’s desk? Should we both reach for the wallet and let the fastest win? Should I pretend to reach for it, very slowly? 

What is the etiquette of a first date, in terms of paying?

In the past years, the question “who should pay the bill at a date” has seen a big bright spotlight projected on it. With the long-lasting strife for gender equality and female liberation, what was once a no-brainer has become the subject of many (perhaps too many) debates, and while some don’t really care that much, others happen to have very strong, very articulate opinions about the subject.

Why is it so important? Isn’t it better to just let the man do it? Why do some women care so much about paying the bill?

Well, because they can. A man paying for the date has always implied, in one way or another, that he was “investing”, and that his investment should reward him with a certain, immediate kind of outcome. Meaning that if he paid for dinner, she then is expected to “do her part”.
Women have decided that, since they too can have a salary and be independent instead of relying on a bread-winning husband, their part will be just the same as the man’s.

The desire to quit feeling forced to give something in exchange for the courtesy of paying for a meal or drinks or what-have-you was stronger than whatever cocktail he bought her, and so she pays for herself.

However, not everyone shares that same mindset.

Some women consider it the duty of a man to pay for a date, and they see it as highly disrespectful to be asked to split the bill since the lady is the one being courted, and so she should be – because some old traditions should better stay as they are. It makes sense on one hand, because everyone likes to be pampered, right? And it seems legitimate, after she has spent (at the very least) one hour and a half with all the preparation that a date requires, to be compensated for the attention and effort she put in her appearance: she takes care of looking the nicest possible, he takes care of the bill.

There is no shaming or judging in that, let’s be clear. It is simply a matter of different points of view. If that is what you like, by all means find someone to wine you and dine you.

Again, this is very subjective, and none of these are rules. 

What is certainly extremely important is that everyone, collectively, ignore the eye-rolling Alpha man takes on this topic… or any topic at all. A man who pays for the date is not “a simp”, “a beta male” or whatever ridiculous opinion they might have. That is very weak energy and we don’t vibe with it. If your love language is paying for others, so be it.

Anyways, these are all very heteronormative situations in which we assume that the couple going on a date is man/woman, which is, well, not always the case.

Oh what ever are we going to do if a same-sex couple sits down at the table? Are they going to fight for the bill? Duel? Ignore it until it combusts? Run? 

Okay, what follows applies to anyone, of any orientation, identity, and look. This goes for anyone sitting with anyone on a date, wherever you are, whatever you are doing.

SO, WHO SHOULD PAY THEN???

DRUMROLL!!!

…

…

The one who asked for the date. That’s it in our humble but honest opinion. If you don’t want to risk paying too much for a dinner date for two, simply avoid going somewhere particularly expensive. It makes sense that if someone asks someone out for a date, the planning and all is generally on the end of that person. If the person you have invited wants to split the bill, then let them. However, the person who has been invited, “the invitee”, should be prepared to pay their part, just in case.

Do not be offended by a woman who wants to split the bill, she is establishing her independence and autonomy from something that is, in a certain measure, historically relevant, no matter what you think about it.

If you really want to be the spender because that’s how you like it, you can trysaying “I would love to take this one, if you don’t mind/it would be my pleasure” or something along these lines.

On the other hand, let’s say you would really love to take your date to a specific bar or restaurant or place, but cannot afford paying for both of you or simply won’t. We believe in saying “I really want to take you here, but it’s very expensive, is it okay with you?/ I can’t pay for both, but I would love to show you this place”.
The first option is probably nicer, as it feels more like you are simply asking without prying if they are okay with spending a certain sum, taking it as a given that they will be paying for themselves, rather than say “you gotta pay for yourself”, which is clearly less delicate and polite. Yes, obviously the level of confidence needed is quite high here, but after all, if the person you are going out with refuses categorically to split the bill – and we don’t mean “lets you pay”, but straight-out refuses… is it really worth it? You know, just a little thought. Just a little question.

“Who should pay the bill” is a question that, just like the egg and the chicken, will probably stay unanswered. The reason is that there are so many variables, so many different instances and situations that even wanting to list them all, we would still not come to a conclusion.

The only logical, neutral answer we have is that the bill should be taken care of by “the inviter”, which seems the most rational option among all.

Hopefully we have helped you solve this doubt! Enjoy your date!

The post Who should pay the bill? appeared first on Five Minutes to Love.

Disclaimer: this list is valid for any gender, although some are more specific.
We understand that cis men can be at risk too, but it is generally more physically dangerous for others.

The first red flag is so important that is not numbered – it is the master red flag:

If a man gets offended because you are sharing your location and or his name with your friends, walk away as quickly as possible.
It’s an immediate “no thank you”, it shows that this person has no idea what the world is like, or worse.

1. Insists on ordering your food or drinks.

Controlling, thinks they are/know better than you, may have learned “romance” from movies. It would make sense if that were their favorite place, but to order somebody’s food without asking if it’s okay… we no likey.

2. Has zero opinions

It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to want to find things in common with the other, and maybe to exaggerate a tiny little bit, but agreeing on everything and not expressing an opinion might indicate that they’re just hiding the real ones in order for you to like them. Or if they really show no opinion at all, they might be extremely insecure and struggle to, you know, have an original personal thought.

3. Criticizes their exes

Beware of people who do (or at least who do so excessively), especially on a first date, especially if they (multiple they) are “crazy”… maybe they weren’t all that crazy. Not saying you can’t have a very complicated history… but what are the chances? Plus, talking about exes on the first date is generally frowned upon.

4.“You’re not like the other girls”

We suggest a solid sprint. You don’t need someone who will put down everyone else to make you feel special. It’s manipulative, and it’s likely to keep you wanting to prove you are “different”. If you are special it’s because of what you are, not because of what others are not. Don’t fall for this one, it says exactly what your date thinks of women. Bleah.

5. Criticizes everything

The way some one is dressed, the way YOU are dressed, how the food is served, how annoying someone’s voice is, hoe they would have don it better, how they would have managed an event, a feeling, an argument, a whatever else, everything to show that they’re more than the others, that they know better… They probably aren’t, and it’s quite boring.

6. Overdoses the romance

Overconfident or extremely insecure, they probably do that with everybody. Too sweet, too nice, too cool, too good to be true, and for a good reason.
Careful about gifts and lovebombing, it’s a possible base for emotional manipulation and that will never go well. ”But they said they’ve never felt like that before/they are never like this” – this is what a lie looks like, 99.9999% it’s the best way to rope you in.

7. Money talk

In general, talking about money is not the most tasteful you can be when you first meet a person.
If your date talks about the price of everything, from the clothes they or you are wearing, the food you are eating, the cab ride to get there, or their car, or wants to know how much you have paid for x things, or how much you make or how much they make… it could be serious insecurity or an attempt at money-grabbing, either way, keep a healthy distance.

8. They don’t respect your boundaries.

This should go without saying, and yet we need to say it: pay attention to the way your date responds when they don’t get what they want or when you disagree with them. The way someone else reacts to your boundaries can be very telling on whether you are being treated with respect or they don’t really care about your boundaries.
So what could that look like?
Trying to pressure you to stay longer after a date, pushing you to stay for another drink, getting way too close, are a violation of boundaries, nothing less. Each of you has a full right to go, and if any of this happens, you really really should.

9. Backhanded compliments, or “negging”

Negs are annoying because, among the other aspects, they leave you uncertain if what you just received was a compliment or an insult. This is often used as a tactic to cause another person to feel self-doubt, that way (they think) you will become more likely to want and search for approval.

Here are some examples of what negging can look like on a first date:

·        “You look good for your age.”

·        “You’re cute but would be so much hotter with less make up.”

·        “I’m not usually into curvy women, but you’re attractive.”

10. They are rude to others

Even worse if they are nice to you. They are only being nice for a reason. If they treat others poorly, they will do the same with you at some point. Besides, do you really want to be with someone whose behavior you have to apologize for? Nope.

11. They don’t answer reasonable questions or try to make you feel bad for asking it. 

For example, it can be useful to ask someone you are on a date with what they are looking for. It’s a pretty straightforward question and can be answered honestly between adults; there are no wrong answers on their side, they can very well be looking for something different and that’s okay. However, if the response to the question is vague, like “Let’s just go with the flow,” or “Let’s not rush it,” these are signs that A) they don’t really know what they want, and or B) you might not be on the same page.

12. They frequently check their phone or take calls. 

Unless it’s an urgent situation, if your date is distracted and frequently checking their phone or taking calls during your date, it shows that they are not taking your feelings and time into consideration and may have difficulty being fully present if you decide to proceed.

13. Too fast too soon.

If they are trying to speed up the pace of getting to know you too quickly, immediately talking about the future and all of the things you two will do together, in a way that feels “serious and honest”, well, It may feel nice and exciting on the spot, but this can give you a false sense of security which might cause you to overlook other red flags.

14. Self-hater.

Or better yet, if someone tells you they’re trouble, they’re probably right. It’s not cool, they’re not your manic pixie dream girl or your not-really-bad bad boy, a mystery to solve. No thank you, we don’t need that kind of romanticisation.

15. They question your life experiences and choices.

Anyone who seems doubtful when you talk about things that you have experienced, especially if you’re sharing something related to being marginalized, or anything they “would have done differently”, perhaps in a way that was not available to you, or that a choice you made ”doesn’t make sense”… you know that kind of stuff, and nobody wants to live like that, right? They aren’t necessarily smarter or better or wiser than you. Be cautious.

16. A nice guy

A MAN WHO SAYS HE IS A NICE GUY AND COMPLAINS THAT GIRLS DON’T WANT NICE GUYS ANYMORE NEEDS TO BE REDIRECTED TO A SEMINAR ON HOW TO BE A NORMAL PERSON AND A MASTERCLASS ABOUT WHY WOMEN DON’T WANT HIM.
An actual nice guy will prove over an extended time period that he is actually a nice guy. You don’t need to say you are blonde, you just need to consistently have blond hair, which is very easy when you are actually blonde. 

Remember: dating can and should be fun and light, but ignoring red flags in favor of a couple of green-ish ones is not the best idea, for anyone.

The post Red flags you can catch early on appeared first on Five Minutes to Love.

So you managed to get that date you were hoping for, but now you need to look good for a great first impression. Rest easy, we have plenty of suggestions for you.

First, we need to establish what you are doing on the date. Are you going for drinks? Dinner? An easy coffee? An activity? When, where, what?

For any of these things, what matters the most is that what you wear feels comfortable, both physically and mentally.

You certainly don’t want to be pulling at your tie, adjusting your pants, keep your belly in for the whole date, right? That is definitely not attractive and it might ruin the vibe for both. Then, it is important that it is true to you, and not like you’ve put on a “someone else” costume. This is not to say that you should go in sweatpants and a Scooby-doo t-shirt, it simply means polish who you are.

So, now that these points are set, on we go:

Let’s say you are going for a coffee.

Easy. What you want to do here is something nice, but not too nice. You don’t need a whole button up for this one, unless it looks very casual, like an everyday button up, for example linen is always nice. A stylish t-shirt or hoodie is also good.  No to sandals. Always no to sandals. At the beach, if you really truly love wearing sandals, but never, ever, everrrr the sporty type. However, if you know that it definitely matches your date’s vibe, and you really have to, a classic birkenstock type, or a “classy” thing can be allowed, if necessary. But please give yourself a pedicure. Nobody wants to see hairy toes, especially if they are on a date with their owner. This said, for warm weather I always recommend a light canvas sneaker, it’s sporty but looks nice on most outfits and occasions.

Then. Pants. Yes to some light-washed jeans, no if it’s knee length.
If you want something fresh and easy of that length, there is a wide choice of just above the knee shorts in any color imaginable. Avoid at all costs pants below the knee: this is not Simple Plan, you are not twelve, that era is dead and gone. We loved it, but it’s best to keep it in our pockets The same fabric is perfect for casual pants,which can work very on most day-time outfits.

Lunch? The same goes.

A simple button up would definitely look good here, if that’s your style, but nothing too elegant. I would wear long pants instead of shorts, though, and leave the short ones at breakfast. We are still going for the easy, calm, confident, no pressure, no rush; you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.

Dinner: here it gets way less casual.

We want to keep the same relaxed and confident feel, but a bit elevated. It also depends on where you are going to eat. Obviously you won’t wear a suit to go to even the nicest food truck, right? (Yes, in the right context, I think a certain kind of food truck can be a date, not any, but something peculiar, cool, and all that). Let’s say you are going to a regular restaurant. A nice button up is a must here, avoid too bright colors; white is usually great, it is a staple garment, but a deep red or blue is okay, if matched with the right pants. Make sure you don’t look like you just got out of your office, there is a distinct difference between formal and elegant. 

What I recommend in this case is some nice suit pants, preferably in a dark shade, either black, blue or grey, something that fits you. Don’t feel like you have to adhere to a specific style if it just doesn’t look good on you. Not because you are not attractive, it really doesn’t have much to do with that, it is just because bodies are shaped differently and we should follow that.

In terms of shoes, there are a few options:

You can go for a classic shoe style (make sure you can walk comfortably in it), but maybe avoid getting the cheapest ones because it absolutely shows – you don’t have to pretend you are rich, it’s not what we are saying, just pay attention to what the shoe looks like: if it’s carton, throw it away. You could go for a very nice, very clean sneaker, or a low boot. Obviously, this depends on the overall look and especially the cut of the pants.
CHOOSE. THE SOCKS. CAREFULLY. If you want to wear funny socks, maybe an elegant dinner is not exactly the place where you want to showcase them. But then again, that depends on you, as long as it makes sense aesthetically, the material has to be good and match the rest of the outfit, but whatever you do, a high sock should not show the skin between it and the rim of the pants.

Tie: are you a tie person?

If you are not at all, maybe don’t force yourself to wear one. However, if you still want to give it a try, go for something not too flashy, not like “look! I’m wearing a tie!”. Maybe practice wearing one so that it feels more natural. It seems odd, I know, but it’s very clear if it’s your first time wearing a tie It also really depends on your age. Unless it is very natural for you, I would probably avoid a tie under 27, because it may feel too serious, but I encourage it over 35.
You can decide whether to wear a jacket or not. If it’s a whole suit, make sure you don’t look like a kid in church. If you want to put together different pieces… that’s an entirely different article. Just know that you are only allowed one pattern, and the material should be the same. You could also wear a sweater, keeping in mind the temperature inside and outside, maybe something you can easily take off if it’s too warm.

The same casual but not too casual, nice but not too nice, works for an activity like a museum, or the movies, or even a walk.

Anyway, if you want more visual help, you can easily go on Pinterest and type down something along the lines of “first date man look”, and see what pops up and what you like there.
Remember to keep a style that is true to yourself, so that you won’t be burdened by appearing something that is too much to keep up with. Don’t overdo it, don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable spot for the sake of sporting a look or a style that is not your own. The number one outfit you should be comfortable in, is your own skin. And trust me, it shows.

If you are too lazy to look for yourself, here is a pinboard put together just for this occasion:
https://pin.it/4P0ePBe

Enjoy your date!

The post What to wear on a date appeared first on Five Minutes to Love.

Finally you found the courage to ask your love interest out on a date! Of course you want to impress them, right? And you might want to go all out in an elaborate mega-date to show them how much you care… maybe it’s not the best idea, you know? Get the ball rolling with a fun, original, interesting base, and then just let it roll. You can throw the bowling ball, but you can’t carry it to strike.

On that note, that’s a good option! So:

• Pick among your wide choice of bowling alleys that London has to offer. Like  Hollywood Bowl Surrey Quays, that lets you bowl in your own shoes, has VIP lanes are available with staff at your call! You can head to the arcade afterwards for some old-school fun and games.
  
• Let yourself be amazed by immersive experiences: there are plenty of options, from theatre shows, attractions and more to win a memorable date!
  
• Catch a surprise gig at a secret venue! Don’t overwork yourself, let the fate decide by booking a Sofar Sounds gig. Each intimate secret show has three surprise acts and takes place in living rooms, shops, cafés and other mystery locations across the city, only announced on the same day. This is too cool not to be cool.
  
• Go for a magical stroll among all rare and ancient plants at Kew Gardens: perch under the pagoda, go up the spiral staircase to the picturesque balcony or cozy up in the palm houses for a beautiful all-green experience.
  
•  Take a class together! Get your hands dirty with a pottery taster session at Skandihus (you might be tempted to replicate the Ghost scene, but it’s probably not encouraged). Spend an afternoon learning the basics and leave with a few pieces to commemorate this fantastic date!
  

• Make your date exciting with a treasure hunt for two. Choose from different locations to explore, such as Covent Garden, London Bridge or Soho and attempt to crack the clues and decipher puzzles. For this one you will have to put your head together, and maybe… your faces? But don’t let the smooching help the other teams to the win!
  
• Hire a pedalo in Hyde Park, Regent’s Park, or any pretty body of water you can find! Or why not give a twist to boating by cruising down London’s waterways in one of Skuna Boats‘ hot tubs and barbecue boats, drink in hand, year-round.
  
• Head to Shoreditch and cuddle up on Electric Cinema’s front row bed: get cozy, grab your drinks and snacks, and enjoy your favourite films while sharing a bag of popcorn.
  
• Catch some Shakespeare at The Globe: the location is impressive, the tickets inexpensive and I mean… it’s Shakespeare. It’s got to move up feelings.  You can also join a special tour of The Globe! A 50 minute tour given by expert guide-storytellers Tuesday to Sunday, recreating the stories of the 1599 Playhouse, the London Shakespeare would have known and the Globe reconstruction process in the 1990s.
  
• Is it sunny? Well then grab a basket and get to work to prepare a love-filled picnic to eat in one of London’s many beautiful parks. That’s so, so cute.
  

•  Bring your date to the Seventh Heaven at the Sky Garden, where you can access for free until 6pm (after that, you’re invited to sit at the bar and order a drink, which can definitely be a nice part of the date). Enjoy spectacular views over the capital as the sun sets over it, leaving space to the night lights.
  
• Get on board for this night-time cruise to get an entirely different view of the Thames. Plan your date on a Dinner Cruise and take in the spectacular sights on your ride as you make your way through a four-course meal, all the while enjoying some great tunes from a live performer. And on the return trip, well, it’s time to hit the dance floor!
  
• Spend day to night and night to day at Duck & Waffle  have dinner (or breakfast) accompanied by an epic view if you’re looking for a unique way to start or end the night. This 24-hour restaurant is located on the 40th floor of Heron Tower, offering unexpected combos such as spiced-duck doughnuts, foie-gras crème brûlée and the signature duck and waffle.
  
• Test your date’s competitive side, challenge them to a game of crazy golf at Swingers. as they say, the crazy golf club takes the holy trinity that is crazy golf, street food and amazing cocktails and combines them all into one incredible social experience.
  Reward yourselves with food from Patty & Bun, Breddos Tacos or Made of Dough pizza, plus plenty of cocktails. Check out the Bottomless drinks Sundays!
  
• Explore the Barbican Conservatory’s hidden tropical oasis: Visit on selected dates and grab a drink at the bar. other than that, the Barbican includes a concert hall, two theatres, three cinemas, two art galleries, a library, two trade exhibition halls, five conference rooms, foyers, shops and a conservatory. The conservatory also has a Marriage Licence approval… Just so you know.
  
  

• Book the Planetarium in the Royal Observatory in Greenwich for one of its The Sky Tonight Live sessions, so you can get a front-row view of all the astronomical action! Old-school stargazing means lying outdoors looking up at the night sky, but today’s light pollution would make it quite difficult.
  
• Choose an independent coffee shop to sit down with a special brew, ready to spend quality time with each other. For example, check out the Vietnamese Cà Phê VN is spreading the word through its weekly Saigon street cafe stall at Broadway Market every Saturday where it serves up coffee Vietnamese style. Or make your own customised coffee blend at Coffee Island. You can even choose how your coffee is brewed, including pour over, Chemex, AeroPress, Syphon and cold drip.

When it comes to dates creativity is very important, but remember that what matters the most is the company!

The post Great date ideas in London! appeared first on Five Minutes to Love.

You finally met. Whether through a social network, a dating app, thanks to common friends or just good old fate, you met someone you like and now that a date is in the air (of not already decided) you need ideas on what to do, what is appropriate, or any advice you can get to make this date the first of many more to come.

These situations are loaded with emotion: excitement, nerves, jitters and joy, as well as a sense of possibility and hope of what it may turn into, be it a great romance or just a hilarious story to share with your pals over cocktails later – yes, some dates will simply turn into anecdotes, so don’t overwork yourself over this.

First dates are designed to check your compatibility, so it’s important to do something you actually enjoy (both of you, obviously). They should also be as casual and un-date-like as possible, to reduce the pressure of a first “official” encounter and be able to feel comfortable enough as to open up to each other, without too much formality. It’s okay if you want to do something fancy from the get go if that’s who you are, but don’t forget what the main goal is, here.

Now, to plan a perfect date it is necessary to ask yourself (and them) a few fundamental questions, information you need to know to be able to direct your search for activities to do together.

How long have you been talking? How much do you know about each other? If the answer is “not much”, maybe being somewhere that can facilitate a conversation is more ideal, to get to know each other more.

There are a few options here, some very different from the others, but the common point is that it’s fairly easy to talk while doing any of these activities.

1. Coffee. It is a bit of a classic, but to make it more interesting you could pick one of those really fancy coffee places with the different blends and preparations, a cosy ambiance and the cool décor. It’s easy going, not too much, and you have plenty of room to talk. Make sure your date likes coffe though, or it could go south very quickly!
   
2. Drinks. Another classic, and we suggest you take this advice shaken, not stirred. Find some twist to it, be it the location, the variety of drinks served, or the things happening there. Make it a rooftop bar, an underground speakeasy, an old school jazz club, anything to make it not obvious.

Again, be sure whether or not your date enjoys drinking alcohol. Other disclaimer: if they accept, it doesn’t mean that they have to drink as much as you think they should. Do not be pushy with boundaries, in general but especially with this one.

3. A walk. Now, that might sound lame and cheap, but it can not be! Choose a historically relevant area and get informed about it, so that you can sprinkle tidbits of trivia here and there. Or look for a very panoramic path, although a full hike or isolated places may not be the best idea, for personal safety reasons (yes, not all men, but some men, and they don’t have a flashing sign on their foreheads). Anyway, if a hike is what you are really set on, pick a very public area. Bring a picnic or get some food to eat looking at the view!
   
4. A museum or art expo. Sure, usually you can’t really talk too much there, but you can whisper opinions in each other’s ears and then talk about it sitting in front of a coffee or drink. We suggest you plan it on a weekday or off-peak hours in order to avoid a big crowd that might make it more difficult to communicate.
   
5. Stand up comedy could be great, but you have to make sure you both are on board with the genre, or maybe an open night to get a bit of a mix. Sharing some laughs is a great way to connect, and gives you the chance to learn what makes the other laugh, which let’s be honest, for good or bad, it’s good to know early in the process.
   
6. Trivia night! Sharing a fun activity with the other can very much lower the anxiety of asking and answering all those first date questions. And from the general Trivia, you can switch to your own version and treat it like a game, since you will be already in the mood.
   
7. Walk your dog. But first of all, confirm whether your date likes pups and/or isn’t allergic before planning the date. If they’re okay with fur babies, then why not grab a coffee and take a stroll with your dog in tow? It’s cute, and it’s even better if you both have four-legged friends that you can take with you.

8. Play at a board game cafè. If they are into board games (which you should know beforehand), it can be a great ice-breaker, and it can help the conversation flow as you play into the rivalry of the game. It will give you an insight on their personality, and if you really have nothing to say, at least you’ll be playing!
   
9. Get active! Go skating, or play ping-pong or get the ball rolling at a bowling alley. Axe throwing? Why not! It’s fun whether you hit the target or not… but be careful what you say.

These suggestions are also valid if you know each other a little bit more, it’s a series of simple, fun and entertaining ideas for any future dates along your path!

Now, if you have been talking for a while, maybe you already have a notion of what the other likes and you can expand a little.

Here are some more possibilities, although the art expo/museum, the stand up comedy or the jazz club stay very viable options always.

Points 10 and 10.1 can definitely be used for the first section too, although personally I wouldn’t venture into a multi-hour date somewhere off (depending on where you live) not knowing much about the other person. Sure, if the conversation is dead at least you have the food, but, you know.

10. Dinner. As previously said with the classics, find something that makes it different (not to say unique). It can be the other’s favorite cuisine, or a particularly cool location, like those moving trams with live music that take you around the city to show you the nightlights. It’s cute, but you need to know beforehand if your date suffers from motion sickness, or the risk of disaster is right behind the corner… quite literally.

11. Farmer’s market. Walking among the fresh produce, getting bits and bites and tastes of everything possible, seems like a dream date, but it might just be me. Tasting home produced honey and cheese and veggies and jams in the countryside? Yes please.

12. But it’s actually more like an 11.1: If you know some stuff about each other, maybe you know whether they like cooking or not, and if they would enjoy getting their hands dirty to make a (hopefully) delicious meal together. Or if you’re a good cook, you could very well show off your skills to impress them!

13. Cinema. You already know the gist. Take a classic and polish it up to make it something more than just the movies. It would be a good idea to find out the genre your date likes, or perhaps if there are screenings of their favourite film somewhere, or some curious cinemas with some sort of notable feature, like longevity, or décor, something special in some way.

14.  Theater. Just as the previous point, but you also have to be sure that the person you are inviting actually likes theater, because that is not a given, and there are many different forms of it. So be a little careful here. You can go and look up classical plays that strike right in the heart or think-pieces to discuss afterwards, either way, you can elaborate a lot, and that is a good way to get to know how the other thinks. And if you hated it, you can laugh about it later.

15. Take a class together. Book a class of something, be it a cooking class, a painting class or pottery something else (beginner level). If private or with a group, it is up to you. If it doesn’t work out, at least you both have learned something new!

What matters the most is that who plans the date needs to put some effort into making it something that feels thought, and that shows the other that you care and have an actual interest in getting to know them.
Beware of over-planning: despite of being born from the best intentions, it could actually lead to a negative result because it can become “too much”, be unnatural and give a tense vibe that is the exact opposite of what we are trying to achieve.

These were out top suggestions on what to do on a first date, hopefully whichever you choose will be the one to win your interest’s heart.

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