So you have decided. You are done being single, it’s not for you, we are moving on.

What do you do? Sign up on a dating app, obviously, right? Alright. The next thing we are going to do is this: forget Andrew Tate, Russel Hartley and the other Alpha males with strong opinions – they have formed those opinions in the free time given by “not getting any”.

Ok, let’s be real. 

Talking to a woman online is not really that difficult, you just need to have something to say to her.

How do you find that? The answer is easy: Read. Her. Bio. If she has it it’s because it contains something that she considers relevant about herself. Don’t bypass it. I once went on a date with a very cute guy who did not know I am allergic to dogs and he came to the date… with his dog, which I’m guessing he thought was cute but proved to me he had not taken the time to read. I sneezed the whole time. Was that info on my bio? Yes. He also didn’t like that I don’t drink alcohol. Was that on my bio? You bet it was. Why waste two people’s time and money to look live at a face when you don’t care what is behind it? Needless to say, it was terrible and I ran out of there so, so fast. Never saw him again.

So the first advice is that you find someone you might actually be interested in.

Reading her bio gives you useful pointers on how to start a conversation after matching. But how do you put this in practice?

Let’s imagine this:

Jen, 25, went to University City, loves to travel and eat food, is a Virgo and her favorite artist is Van Gogh.

Now, her pictures: Jen at the beach; Jen with a group of friends at a party; Jen looking at sunrise, Jen with a dog.

Perfect, you have a lot of information to go off.
Now, important: there is no need to lie, no need to pretend to like what she likes, absolutely no need to make her prove she actually likes what she likes. This is not a “how to pick up women” article, this is a “how to start a conversation online” article.

You can start with a gif – it’s silly, but a gif of ice breaking rarely fails. Having some humor, however simple, makes you seem more amicable and easier to talk to.

You can accompany the gif with something like “is this okay as an ice-breaker?” or along that line. Or directly ask her something related to her info, like “what is the place that you would go back to in an instant?” or “what is the food that you could eat forever?”.
Look up a fact about Van Gogh and tell her. You could even say “I saw you like Van Gogh and looked up facts about him, this is my favorite one”. Yes, it has worked before, because it shows  that you are open about your interest and willing to put at least a bit of effort about it, and informing yourself about something she likes is cute.

Talk to her as you would with an acquaintance.

Ask her about her interests, tell her about your interest. But careful, nobody likes boast-y people. “My interests are getting BIG and making MONEY” like okay, chill. Impress, don’t gloat, we don’t really like that.

Compliments are nice, weird compliments are not.

“You have beautiful eyes” is okay. “I wonder what shade your eyes would take in the sun” specific, could work very well. “You have beautiful eyes, I wonder what my reflection looks like in them” bit weird, maybe too intense, keep it in your pocket. 
She has a particularly cute outfit? Say that – appreciate the style choice, not just the body in the clothes.

How do you get a date out of this? Easy peasy:
Check out if there is any art exposition. You find something Van Gogh related? Awesome. Not very Van Gogh related? Good enough, invite a fellow art-lover to a museum. If she knows more, you can ask her to explain something to you, or you can pretend to know things and come up with fake explanations together.

“Ok”, you may say “but Jen has a ton of information in her bio, this other girl, Maggie, has only got a quote and a surf emoji”.

First off, google the quote. What is it from? Book? Movie? Watch the movie, read at least that chapter of the book. Yes, if you want to effectively talk to a woman there is some homework to do. If it doesn’t pay off with this one, you have learned something new, and that can’t hurt. Now. Respond to the quote with another quote, comment on how you liked the movie, or what she saw in it (NICELY, she doesn’t have to prove herself) out of pure curiosity. Don’t find anything about the quote? Ask her. “I keep scratching my head because I can’t remember what that quote is from” if she says it’s hers and you can’t possibly have heard it before, say “then I guess it just resonates with me”.

You can say that perhaps your brains are aligned, or even your souls if you want to push that hard. That you’d love to meet her to look each other in the eyes and that you are curious to see if this magnetic connection holds on a physical ground (not THAT kind of physical).

Give date options. Maybe a coffee, maybe drinks, maybe a movie, what does she feel like doing? I believe a Speakeasy bar to be a great option here. Low light, atmosphere, quite cozy for a cheek to cheek.

Our next example is Nora.
Nora has NOTHING in her bio. Nada, nichts.

And you’re going to say… “Hi”? Unimaginative. What is in her pictures? Nora’s mirror selfie, Nora in a field of flowers,then Nora’s selfie again, Nora on vacation somewhere. Alright. Be creative! In the previous paragraphs there are things that you can use even when there seem to be no handhold. Say “You have a mysterious something in your eyes/smile, I want to find out what it is”. SO many possibilities! Here, you want to dig into her interests without prying. You can say “Huh, no quotes or nothing in the bio?” “Now I have to ask what your sign is since your bio doesn’t say”.

There are many options to go with, but you have to find the one that is more natural to you. Make sure you don’t start off too big, or go with something entirely different from you and from your vibe. You are not putting up a scene, you are just trying to be YouPlus.

REMEMBER: 

1. She does not owe you a date. Like you don’t owe a restaurant to eat there because you walked by it multiple times.
2. A hike or anything secluded is not necessarily a good idea for a date. You may think it’s nice and cool and fun, to us it’s danger and danger and danger, no matter how much of a great guy you may be. Saying “I’m a good guy, I’m a nice guy, I’d never do anything bad” is absolutely pointless. Good on you, she’ll love to see it goin on. Do not take it personal, it is not. Women need to take precautions you wouldn’t even vaguely consider; if she’s giving you the benefit of the doubt, respect her boundaries and needs.
   

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